Jersey Fashion Crime

The other night I was watching the CTV Olympic Anniversary special, crying my eyes out and wiping the tears away with an American flag, when I detected a jersey travesty.

It was during a segment on women's hockey and how utterly dominant the Canadians always are. I know the ladies don't get as much respect or attention as the men, but the rivalry between Canada and the USA is one of my favourites in sports. There's always a lot of trash talking, flag disrespecting, boob comparing and in the case of the 2010 Olympics, celebratory underage drinking and cigar chomping.

Anyway, the segment focused on bum-chinned Defencewoman Tessa "The Mascot of Carnaval" Bonhomme and how she helps young girls play hockey and stuff like that. I don't really know, I was too busy scarfing Hot Rods and throwing beer cans at the screen, yelling "WHEN ARE THEY GOING TO TALK ABOUT MEN'S HOCKEY!!!????".

They were going over the Abominable Snowwoman's career achievements and how she was drafted first overall in the inaugural 2010 Canadian Women's Hockey League (CWHL) draft. Nice work! The best part about being drafted is that you get to go up on stage and accept your new jersey, in this case, the Toronto Aeros. This is where horror struck:



It was at that point in the evening that I got so mad that I shit my pants and cleaned it with a Union Jack. I swear that most teams made up of five-year old boys have better jerseys than that. That's a jersey you skim through at Value Village and think "this is going to be here every time I come back for five years". Hell, why even give her a jersey at all? The worst part is that this was the first image of a new league whose goal is to bring legitimacy to women's hockey. It's bad enough they held the draft in what looks like Conference Room 'C' of the Burlington Howard Johnson, but then they bring out that hideous jersey to give to their top player? I get the feeling the other team's jerseys are exactly the same but with a different colour and city. The funny thing is that during the segment they showed Bonhomme helping out an Oakville youth team, and their jerseys were sssssssicck. Check out these beauties:


If women's hockey is to be taken seriously, they're going to need way better jerseys. What kind of little girl would want one of those Aeros jerseys under the tree at Christmastime? Not this little girl!