Jersey Club Quarterly Report

We're about halfway through 2011 and so far, the Jersey Club has handed out six pristine, stitched, real jerseys. Here they are:

1. Andy

The club further customized this baby with a 1994 Stanley Cup patch. Just as Mark Messier guaranteed victory, the Jersey Club guarantees perfection and authenticity which is basically as close to victory as one can get when talking about jerseys. This is a beautiful and timeless piece that any human would be lucky to have in his or her closet next to their tuxedos.

2. Phil


Phil is in Calgary shooting AMC's upcoming "Hell On Wheels" TV show so he wanted a jersey that he could wear to rile up cowboys in the various stables found in the city's downtown core. He opted for an Atlanta Flames Brad Marsh jersey, which tells the people of Calgary that he has no respect for the city and is willing to fuck shit up without wearing a helmet.

3. Glenn

Bo knows everything, Jersey Club knows jerseys, beers and handshakes. I've been fascinated with the career of Bo Jackson for a couple of years now and between dreaming about traveling back in time to Medieval times and easily becoming a king because I brought a gun with me, I'd dream about what sports would be like had Bo not had the hip of a 90 year old woman. This jersey encapsulates these dreams in physical form and I was very happy with this classic powder blue. The Royals haven't changed their logo or lettering in forever, which proves that you shouldn't mess with simplicity.

4, 5 and 6 - Scott T., Scott Y. and Chuck


We were very excited to participate in triple presentation this past weekend to celebrate the births and jerseys of three deserving gentlemen. For a second straight year, Scott T. opted for the freestyle option, meaning the club had the right to choose any jersey they wanted. We went with a Larry Bird, which has been described by many as "The most beautiful thing in the world". You can argue with the current Celtics lineup but you can't argue with their aesthetic and when you add that number 33 and the name BIRD (which is the best last name for a basketball player) on the back it becomes something special.

Scott Y. had a Pat Borders Jays on his list and since there's an unwritten jersey club rule that every member must possess a jersey from the Jays World Series teams of the early nineties, we decided to pull the trigger. These Jays jerseys are simply stunning and it's the hope of the club that the team will go back to these designs once they realized that their current logo looks like it was written in toothpaste.

We got Chuck a very nice Ryan Braun that matches a hat he owns. Great side patch, great stitching and a helluva ballplayer make this jersey the perfect summertime shirt. This was a refreshing jersey since most that have been presented over the last 1.5 years have been vintage. Legend has it that if you wear this jersey in any Milwaukee household, the home owner is obliged to feed you beer and sausages and send you on your way with provisions including beef jerky and Bazooka Joe gum.

Six jerseys down, six to go! Stay tuned for the latest and start thinking about your choice for Jersey of the Year. This year a fan choice category may be added.

Jersey Club Recommends

This week the jersey club would like to hand out 2 pieces of advice for those who might be thinking of buying a new jersey for their summer wardrobe.

Jersey club gives the green light to purchase a new CFL jersey.  Season starts July 1st, which gives everyone enough time to enjoy a few months before NFL starts again (maybe).

Here's my pick for a CFL jersey Argos' #44 Chad Kackert (RB). Apparently his nick name in the locker room is Kack.

Also the CFL tried live mics on the coaches and QBs in tonight's game.  It failed.  All the QBs do is call out plays that are designed so that only their team can understand.  To anyone else, just a whole bunch of random words.

The Jersey Club reluctantly gives a red light to buying a new Raptors Jonas Valanciunas.

Raptors 1st round pick we hope will be a great player one day soon, but for now we suggest holding off a few years to see how he does before you spend all your money on the lettering.

Monday Link

Hey jersey fans,

Check out this article on beer league jerseys courtesy of Yahoo.com.

1st year Expansion Jerseys are brutal

Of the 24 expansion teams since 1988, 13 of them had hideous jerseys in their first year. That's more than half, which is a failing grade, expansion teams.

So is there a rule that says expansion teams in their first year have to have shitty jerseys? Or is it just that marketing teams hired by new professional sports teams don't understand basic eye pleasing combinations of colours and trim and cool animals biting things? If you don't know what I'm talking about, just have a look for yourself:

3 of the many awful inaugural expansion team jerseys.

I don't know what to hate more about the 3 jerseys you see above. Is it the hideous colours? Is it the godawful font choice? How about disgusting trim? These jerseys (and many more) have the same problem in common. They were trying to be too bold - too different. Everyone was trying to recreate the phenomenon that was the San Jose Sharks circa 1991.

I have no idea who this Colman fellow is.

Everyone in the world (ok, just North America) was really surprised when in the early nineties, kids started buying the latest NHL expansion jersey paraphernalia. They couldn't explain it. I remember them actually doing real news stories on it because no one could understand why American kids (and Canadian as well) were wearing the crappiest hockey team's jersey like it was something cool. In the end everyone agreed it was because of the weird new colour, teal. However teal was only part of the reason the jersey was a success. Look at that font. Classic. Look at that design - clean lines, no one trying to make this jersey memorable by being hideous, the bold decision of the colour stands out but we are comfortable with it because we recognize the other features. Add in a pretty cool logo of a crazy wild animal biting something and you have a damn fine jersey.

Scott "The Teal Bulb" Pose

All that being said, teal was pretty much dead by 1992 and no other expansion team since has recreated the hype and popularity that the Sharks had in the 90s. Instead it's been a stream of duds including the Devil Rays:

Can I say Devil Gays? No?

And of course the lowly Raptors:

Uh guys I think there's something wrong with the pinstripes.
Oh and you named the team Raptors by mistake too.

So then, here's a list of all the awful inaugural expansion jerseys of all the major North American sports. All these jerseys had some garbage bozo designing them and while some have improved since, some continue to be completely terrible. These jerseys have some and maybe even all of the following: poor colour choice, bad overall design, awful logo, terrible trim and brutal fonts.

NHL	NBA	NFL	MLB
panthers	hornets	jaguars	diamondbacks
thrashers	raptors		marlins
wild	grizzlies		devil rays
blue jackets	bobcats
thrashers	timberwolves

 

PLAYOFFS

The playoffs start today and with them we will see the rise of some new playoff heros.  Having a heroic playoff run can really lift the stock of a players jersey and make it a collectible for years to come. 

As I was recently shopping for some classic playoff jerseys for the Jersey Club, I turned to the Hockey Hall of Fame assuming that they would carry them.  Since the NHL and RBK have a liscensing deal, the HHOF only carries RBK jerseys.  Well RBK only makes current jerseys with a few classics in their roster.  So obviously I was disappointed when they told me they don't make the away version of the 1994 Messier Rangers, nor do they make the 1998 or 2002 Yzerman redwings.  How long until they stop making the 2010 Toews or a 1993 Roy?  So here's my suggestion to RBK and the NHL, come out with a line of "Playoff heros".  Every year before the playoffs you re-release jerseys of some classic playoff heros and you release them for as many teams as possible that are in the current playoffs.

Obviously you have the staples Gretzky, Messier, Yzerman and Gilmour every year so here is my list of playoff heros for this year.  

J.S. Giguere - 2003 Ducks

In 2003, the Ducks did not sport everyone's favorite jersey, but there is no denying that any loyal Ducks fan has to appreciate Giggy's Conn Smythe winning performance that year.  He went 15 - 6 with 5 SO, a 0.945 sv pct. and a 1.62 GAA.  Not to mention he only gave up 1 goal against Minnesota in the entire series and set a then record shutout streak of 217 minutes and 54 seconds (since broken by Bryzgalov)





Patrick Kane - 2010 Blackhawks

Normally I would pick Toews, but Kane does score the cup winning goal and I sort of feel bad for him.  Kane fulfills his dream of scoring the winning goal, to bad he was the only one that knew he scored and had to celebrate by himself, like how I used to do it in my basement.

Pavel Bure - 1994 Canucks 

The Canucks made it to game 7 of the cup finals as a 7th seed.  I mostly remember hating Kirk McLean for shutting out the Leafs twice in the conference finals, but it was really Bure's 31 pts in that playoff run that lead them to being one win away from have the stanley cup.

As for the rest of the teams in the western conference this year, Nashville does not have any playoff heroes to date, neither do the sharks and the redwings is always going to be Yzerman which should be released every year no matter who's in the playoffs similarly, LA will always be Gretzky.  So I'm calling in a wild card this year and going to honour my favorite playoff goal of all time.

Nikolai Borschevsky - 1993 Leafs

Oh man, some good memories with this one.  I bruised my achilles celebrating while on vacation in florida.  Yes Leafs hockey was broad casted in southern US once upon a time.

 Stay Tuned as tomorrow I will look at the Eastern Conference.  Who will represent Boston, Orr or Bourque? 

Jersey Game

Hey here's a fun game to play to test your knowledge on Jersey popularity.  Try to name the 20 most popular baseball jerseys (by sales volume) in 2010 in 2:00 minutes.  I know the site looks sketchy but I tried it and it didn't kill my computer, obviously as I am using it to post this blog.

http://www.sporcle.com/games/pamrhein/the-10-best-selling-mlb-jerseys-2010

My score was 15/20.  The person with the lowest score has to give me a jersey.

Let's Go Blue Jays

There are a few things in life that I will never understand. Why Gary Bettman got a contract extension, how UPS has managed to take away everything convenient about home courier delivery and finally why the Blue Jays ever changed their logo from the classic that we all love.  I'm all for trying new things, but if they don't work it's okay to just give up and go back to the classics.

The classic jay is simple but intricate.  They encompass national pride, the team and the sport all in one.

I might be bias, partly because it represents the World Series years and partly because I spent countless hours drawing it in school and partly because everything that has come after pales in comparison.  

Much like the jays themselves, we saw a steady decline that started in the mid to late 90's when they unveiled the new look.

This logo received 7.5/10 rating on Chris Creamer's sportslogos.nethttp://www.sportslogos.net/index.php

This wasn't the only bad decision made by the Jays during this era.  They also fired Cito and hired Tim Johnson as manager who used to tell made up war stories to the players about being a Vietnam vet.  Oh and this was the beginning of Roger Clemens steroid era.

The decline continues in 2003 when they switched to this most hanus logo.  This lasted only one season, one season too long.  Basically they stole the Texas Rangers T logo and stuck sinister looking Blue Jay on it. 

This Jay is clearly on steroids.

I will admit I own a jersey from this logo year, but I bought it at Value Village for $2.99 and got it signed by Lloyd Moseby at my local Rogers Video before posing for this pic. 

The lady couldn't work my camera making this a drawn out process.  Lloyd then made a gay joke about having his arm around me for that long.

That brings us to the present or what I like to call the Tampa years.  When unveiled in 2004, it reminded me too much of something the garbage Rays would wear.  Fittingly in '04 the Jays went 67-94 and Tampa went 70-91.  

As it turns out, modeling the team after Tampa not such a bad idea as stock piling young talent actually does work, a foreign concept for Toronto franchises (Burn). 

The jays new season starts today and there is hope in the direction the team is going.  If these logos are any indication of the direction the franchise is in, the worst is behind us and the best is yet to come.